Cheaper Jobs By The Dozen

As the temperature rose Monday in Miami, Florida so did the tension.

Over one thousand Miami residents waited to apply for one of the 35 open positions in the Miami Fire Department. Some had camped out for over two days. It was a scene right out of the movie “Invincible”, all 1,200 applicants hoping to play the role of Vince Papale.

This is the first time in ten years the MFD has openly accepted applications.

With the possibility of a stable job looming on the horizon many arrived early Saturday morning to stake a claim in line. There were those that brought lawn chairs, others sleeping bags, and an overwhelming amount brought nothing more than anxiety and fear induced by a flailing economy. True colors were shown by most as information was spread that only the first 750 applications were going to be taken.

The front of the line was secured at 5 AM, Saturday (50 hours earlier) by Alejandro Valdez. When asked about his urban camping trip Valdez replied, ” It was freezing Saturday night, and it was raining last night, and then, during the day, it was hot.”

The consensus among those waiting was that despite the lengthy line and less than ideal weather, enduring the elements was worth it to possibly safeguard a future for themselves and those dependent upon them.

Even though the Cinderella story of flight 1519 might be the one chosen for a movie by Hollywood, any of the 35 applicants selected for duty in the MFD might disagree when asked which course of events has given them hope for the future.

Blagojevich & His Last Hours

“The fix was in,” this is what former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich said in response to his ousting from public office.

During the proceedings on Thursday the former Governor gave a 47 minute appeal to his colleagues covering every facet of his life from fetching coffee in Washington D.C. to proclaiming his innocence, all was delivered in an Academy Award winning fashion.

This seemed to have no affect on the outcome for “Blago” as the final vote read 59-0. “They pitched a shutout” the impeached politician said after his hearing when asked about the unanimous vote. He then made comparisons between himself, Ghandi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela.

Immediately after the hearing the media followed and swarmed the former Governor outside his home as he went on to say, “If they can do this to me they can do this to you.”

The cautionary words seemed to fall on deaf ears as the immediate questions to follow all revolved around whether Mr. Blagojevich ever considered resigning or his plans to write a book.

At one point “Blago” quit answering questions, serpentined through the crowd and directed the photographers to capture a moment between himself and the children he had just found to exploit. It was a photo-op right out of the Nixon playbook. When the reporters responded by telling him that the parents of the minors needed to be present to give consent “Blago” took it in stride.

After about thirty minutes the sideshow came to an end and the first impeached Governor in twenty years parted the crowd and made his way up the drive to his house…….. But not before asking the coven of reporters if they would show up to cover him if he had something to say. The overwhelming response from the crowd of journalist was nothing more than a collection laughs and sighs of relief that the days of covering this absurd story had come to an end

The Best Little Prostitution Ring In Tulsa

I recently began researching the history of Tulsa and the nightlife of it’s different eras. To my good fortune in the process I began to find traces of an underbelly to which our city pays no mind. I felt this subject matter interesting, and more importantly unrepresented. So I re-fixed my focus on darker themes and those things not discussed in mixed company for fear of becoming a social pariah. In delving into these topics I hope to raise an awareness, as well as start a movement to embrace the elements of our city that we may not understand but must retain in order to have a culture rich in decadence and depravity. Rich in exuberance and excess. Rich in all that we as Americans may hold dear!

In this weeks post we will be discussing brothels.

Now please try to imagine (or remember) a time before cell phones, pagers and the internet. Now for the sake of this article try to imagine you are back in this pre-technological age, and you are a “john”. You’re out and about, you’re looking for action, some excitement, the thrill of a lifetime. Without the ability to drunk dial and order brides from overseas you would think hope was far from alive and well in Tulsa, in all actuality nothing could be farther from the truth. Spanning at least 10 years was a call-in escort service which operated out of a building in the approximate location that Empire Bar now stands. The process was simple, you would dial “RIDESHY“, a machine would pick up and you would leave a message. If those who screened the messages felt you were a potential threat or a police officer they would simply not respond. This racket ran through the 60’s and 70’s until it was finally shut down.

The next featured brothel holds a record for the longest running operation of its kind. The magic began in 1936 when Pauline Lambert began the May Rooms. It was located at 326 1/2 east 1st street. The empire grew into four hotels, all of which gave service with a smile, as well as happy endings. The business thrived over forty years until 1979 when Madam Pauline was finally arrested and the brothels closed. It’s rumored she was able to keep her business running so long without police raids because many city officials were regular clients. There is now a May Rooms Gallery of art located at 328 east 1st street.

Hopefully this brief lesson in the history of our local sex trade has moved and inspired you to taking up arms in the fight against our oppressor. Hopefully this has opened the eyes and given a dream to some young entrepreneur and given Tulsa its next Pauline Lambert.

Until Next Time!

Decadence & Depravity; A Road Paved By Press

In recent months national press has named Tulsa a hotbed of “indie” music. Having this spotlight cast on our city creates a responsibility to support a scene that we all know will undoubtedly flourish and then self-destruct.

With this unknown expiration date looming in the near future the usual hipsters have all reported for duty while they still can. They’ve come in droves, poking and prodding, hoping to see the next big thing rise from the ashes left behind by Hanson and countless other frauds. Conversations ranging from originality to who found what band first can be heard echoing from one SUV to another.

These are all the signs of a feeding frenzy, the exodus from Brookside to downtown has begun. Newcomers to the music district shuffle down brightly lit streets in hopes of finding “the concert” and being seen in “the bar”. The hipster uniform is also present, being worn and exploited by the masses that now descend upon the city scene on a weekend only basis.

The natives are getting restless, the clouds are growing dark, a tension now fills the air and our lungs. We feel it getting thicker as we carefully slip past the doughy-eyed suburbanites that seem to have been cloned for the sole purpose of taking up space and making it increasingly more difficult to order drinks in your favorite bar.

Fortunately among all this there is a silver lining. Fortunately there are those few elite individuals that have helped shape and promote the Tulsa (original) music scene. They are bar owners and concert providers, they are visionaries. These are the people that should have keys to the city.

At times of frustration and dismay I often ask, “What would Soundpony do?”, and the answer I always find is to be tolerant of those I do not naturally embrace. I believe this philosophy put into action is our only chance to slow and possibly halt the implosion of our city’s musical treasure trove.

So please join me downtown, be yourself, bring your friends, wear your clothes and bring your appetite, because this slice of history is waning, it’s fragile and needs your support.

Brandon Douglas